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Bogus Contest: Internet MadLibs

[The following is from the latest issue of my (free) newsletter, JOHO:]

Bogus Contest: Internet MadLibs

At the Emmy’s, Jon Stewart apparently dubbed in network-acceptable words to passages they have found too hot (= interesting, real) to allow on air. This suggests a type of Internet MadLibs. Can you improve on the following famous Internet quotes?

Information just wants to _____ – John Perry Barlow

The network ___ the computer – Scott McNealy

The future is already here. It’s just not ______ – William Gibson

…I took _____ in creating the Internet – Al Gore (See here for the actual quote in context.)

“The Net interprets censorship as damage and ________.” John Gilmore

On the Internet no one ____ you’re a ____ – Peter Steiner

As always, all entries will be routed around as if they were damage…unless we can ascertain that they came from a genuine dog.

(Feel free to post responses in the comments section.) [Tags:]

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9 Responses to “Bogus Contest: Internet MadLibs”

  1. These arrived from Chris RageBoy Locke almost immediately after my newsletter went out:

    Information just wants to fuck John Perry Barlow — in the ass.

    The network fucks the computer – Scott McNealy

    The future is already here. It’s just not fuckall. – William Gibson

    I took fucking shit in creating the Internet – Al Gore (makes only marginal sense.)

    “The Net interprets censorship as damage and fuck.” John Gilmore (???)

    On the Internet no one knows you’re a fuck. – Peter Steiner

  2. Information just wants to be left alone for five minutes, would that be too much to ask? Five minutes of peace and quiet? Honestly, you kids! – John Perry Barlow

    The network sounds sexier than the computer – Scott McNealy

    The future is already here. It’s just not in the future tense any more. That’s kind of how it works with the whole linear time thing. – William Gibson

    …I took my daughter to work, but she was more interested in creating the Internet – Al Gore

    “The Net interprets censorship as damage and [censored].” John Gilmore

    On the Internet no one cares you’re a blogger. – Peter Steiner

  3. On the internet, everyone thinks you’re a dog.

  4. Slow day at work, so…

    Information just wants to _____.
    – John Perry Barlow
    get down and boogie

    The network ___ the computer.
    – Scott McNealy
    is more amusing than

    The future is already here.
    It’s just not ______.
    – William Gibson
    visible unless you are wearing special 3D glasses

    …I took ______ in creating the Internet
    – Al Gore (See here for the actual quote
    (in context: http://www.sethf.com/gore/ )
    the weight of the world on my shoulders

    “The Net interprets censorship
    as damage and _______[does what?].”
    – John Gilmore
    engages in the blame game

    On the Internet no one ____ you’re a ____
    – Peter Steiner
    assumes…sentient human being

  5. Information just wants to be loved…is that so wrong? – John Perry Barlow

    The network belongs to Google, if you don’t believe me, ask the computer – Scott McNealy

    The future is already here. It’s just not in the past. Although, long ago, the past was the future. Now the future is here. Where was I going with this? – William Gibson

    …I took a really amazing drug and was high, for, like, 30 days. I started to see these things, these fucking amazing things and it all became totally clear to me that something was calling me from beyond the mundane everyday. So, I ventured forth into the desert and danced with iguanas and slept under the naked sky until I woke up and realized that it was all just a hallucination and I was just sleeping in my bathtub. What was the question? Oh, yes, did I have any hand in creating the Internet – Al Gore

    “The Net interprets censorship as damage and a fuck up the ass.” John Gilmore

    On the Internet no one likes you, you’re a loser – Peter Steiner

  6. * Information just wants to undress
    * The network undresses the computer
    * The future is already here. It’s just not undressed.
    * I took off a number of dresses in creating the Internet
    * The Net interprets censorship as damage and undressability
    * On the Internet no one undresstimates you’re a thundress

  7. Information just wants to sit back, down a pint and read good book – John Perry Barlow

    The network slows the computer – Scott McNealy

    The future is already here. It’s just not for everyone – William Gibson

    …I took a lot of shit when I said I took credit in creating the Internet – Al Gore (See here for the actual quote in context.)

    “The Net interprets censorship as damage and flames back, get’s your picture and posts it along with yout sex store receipts for all to see.” John Gilmore

    On the Internet no one thinks you’re a good writer, but when they find your blog, they *know* – Peter Steiner

  8. “The Net interprets censorship as damage and blogs about it.” John Gilmore

  9. Hvorfor en blank forside

    Information just wants to be left alone for five minutes, would that be too much to ask? Five minutes of…

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