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Ten reasons vacations are worse than real life

Can’t sneak 19″ monitor into your luggage.

What to have for breakfast, when to go to bed, how often to check email ,and the other habits that hold us together are all thrown recklessly to the wind, hey nonny nonnny.

Traveling kit contains second-tier bathroom paraphernalia.

Staying indoors is suddenly considered abnormal.

Can’t claim antisocial tendencies are actually “just a good work ethic.”

The water tastes different, the pillows smell funny, and I think I just heard a snake.

People insist that you “relax.” What’s that about?

Sight of pasty white-boy torso overwhelms well-tanned forearms and calves.

On the third trip through rustic small town, the cute tourist shop names start to sound evil.

Can’t figure out how to dress worse than normal.

9 Responses to “Ten reasons vacations are worse than real life”

  1. As for item #1, I recommend binging along a video projector. Fits your luggage, and lets you show home movies, and show your vacation slides before the vacation is even done (much better than tormenting your friends, neighbors and relatives with slides afterwards).

  2. Relaxing – my idea of relaxing is learning. Give me a nice well-written book about string theory any day. Vege – ing out as they call it here is what I think purgatory might be like.




  5. You find a 2-inch bloodstain on the fresh towel just brought up to you by housekeeping (happened to me this past weekend).

  6. LOL so true! :)

  7. I keep a non-second-tier bathroom kit constantly full and ready to travel. It makes my procrastinating tendencies in packing so much easier to deal with, cos I know I have an entire one of everything I need and then just have to worry about flinging clothing etc. into the suitcase with abandon. It’s nice to have exact duplicates, albeit in some cases miniaturized, of everything I have at home. And worth it, even tho I don’t travel as much as you.

  8. You get strange looks from “loved ones” for bringing all your cords and cables as well as complaining about lack of connectivity.

    Hmmm, can you rent EVDO cards?

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