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Snow grinch

“Oh, I just love snow”

Fine. You can have all of mine. Here’s a shovel.

Me, I don’t care for the stuff. Sure, I liked sledding when I was a kid, because sledding takes all the skill of falling down, and, by the way, works on the same basic principle. But now, slipping downward without the ability to stop is pretty much just a description of living day to day, except sledding is colder.

As for all that great cardiovascular exercise that shoveling is supposed to give you: Then why don’t you see snow shoveling machines in health clubs? The answer is simple: It’s. Bad. For. You.

Yes, snow is pretty. See, I’m open minded. And then, after a couple of hours of city traffic, the pretty snow is like the white handkerchief a doctor has a smoker blow through to show the damage the tobacco is doing. Snow is white so that it can display the city’s sputum ever so much more clearly.


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7 Responses to “Snow grinch”

  1. I went back to the mountains for New Years first thing we had to do clear 20ft drive covered in 2-3ft of snow and ice layered, but I still love it.

    You could always move South and then you wouldn’t have to deal with it as often.

  2. I, too, am an unrepentant snow whiner. I almost slaughtered my sister for telling me how lucky I am to have had so much snow so far this year. Would be lucky if I, too, sipped coffee looking at it through the window. Instead, I am usually up chipping ice at 5 am so I can make it to Logan. ; )

    Humbug, indeed.

  3. I love the way snow transforms cities. There’s little/no traffic, the snow blankets and muffles the remaining sound, and the shared experience somehow makes people more giving of themselves, and open to acknowledging others around them

    After the snow stops falling, then yes — it’s less pleasant.

    But those few hours make it all worthwhile to me.

  4. I don’t mind it so much, because 1) living in an apartment means someone else gets to shovel and plow, and 2) I walk to work so I don’t have to drive in it, as long as my fellow citizens along my route remember to clear their sidewalks.

    More of a nuisance than anything else. I hate being cold more than I hate snow.

  5. Danger, danger, cranky old man syndrome activated in 3…2…1….JOHO!

    We got socked in with snow in Seattle (which means a few inches of the stuff and then frozen roads), and it was only a beautiful dream for a few days, after which it was simply irritating.

    But it was great how the city slowed down, how human pace and ability became the measure by which things functioned. That’s also elitist of me as a self-employed person who can work from wherever; the hourly folks were hammered by the snow as were all the retail businesses that lost sales before Christmas.

    Years ago, when I told my dad that I was learning to ski (Alpine) and was enjoying it, he said (apropos of my family being Jewish), you’re the first person in our family’s history to willingly go out in the cold.

  6. oh com’on
    it’s crunchy when you walk
    and makes all sort of paths

    and forces people to go around with funny hats

    it’s when it goes minus ten that really sucks
    but before that

    it’s so cute

  7. The Top 5 reasons David Weinberger should like snow:

    1. Snow and sand demonstrate the possibility of user-contributed amateur sculpture.
    2. Snowflakes are like Twitter tweets—small, lightweight and individual but collectively overwhelming.
    3. Snow flakes are a great example of the insufficiency of Aristotelian definitions and the success of “family resemblance.”
    4. Cheney is definitely anti-snow.
    5. John Edwards loves it!


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