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Top Ten Reasons Sarah Palin Quit

Putting on her old red campaigning suit caused an unstoppable urge to call a press conference, and, well, she had to announce something.

Part of careful plan to capture the White House in 2012 by convincing Americans that she’s the leading incoherent, out of control Republican.

She can see crazy from her backyard.

That’ll show the world McCain made a great choice in picking her!

Only way to exorcise those chain-rattling Ghosts of Machine-Gunned Moose Past.

Bridge to Nowhere, meet Leaper.

Michael Jackson so needed to be knocked out of first place on Twitter.

You don’t understand? Just wait for Mark Sanford’s next press conference.

Face it: Alaska’s a dump. [Hey, these are her reasons, not mine!]

Desperate bid to be mocked by Tina Fey one last time.

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10 Responses to “Top Ten Reasons Sarah Palin Quit”

  1. Best reason I’ve seen so far:

    “She’s going to transfer to the governor’s office of a couple other states, and eventually rack up enough credits to complete the term.”


  2. There’s the very real possibility that she simply got tired of having her family attacked viciously. It’s fine to go after her – politics isn’t beanbag. But the left’s practice of going after her children has been disgusting.

  3. Hilarious! But note my nepotism, so I’m biased.

    But really!! To use SNL’s phrase, I believe. If she is doing it to avoid being a lame duck (or maybe a lame moose), wouldn’t that mean all last term governors should resign or not run (but in the latter case they would be lame in their first term!). Unbelievable. Of course, then the Lt. Gov. should resign unless he is planning on running for Governor.

  4. “Is this rage? Is this rage? Is this rage?” MotherFucker Blues, Raymond Stolp

  5. Oh James-sign…the biggest insult to be foisted on the American people since Quayle, and you get partisan?

    Besides, no one see the REAL reason:

    How long do you suppose it TAKES to build
    a ‘Volcano Base of Evil World Domination’ anyway!???

    (She started ordering lasers and stuff last week…)

  6. Oh, let’s all pray she quit for a 2012 run and that the republicans will actually nominate her. That’s a guaranteed free ride for Obama.

  7. interesting article, thanks for your sharing.

  8. God1, it has been my observation that James’s posts usually are partisan, but then so is yours above and probably many of mine. We all see things from our own angle. I have to admit that almost the first time I’ve felt any sympathy for Sarah Palin was over the Letterman joke. Teen-aged daughters of politicians (or other celebrities, for that matter) should be off limits.

  9. Conspiracy theories on Palin’s resignation are going beserk the world over – even as far as South Africa. I think you’d enjoy this cartoon on an interesting speculation about what Sarah’s higher calling may be:

  10. Real reason. Republican Governors bet on who could act the craziest in public and Sanford was winning.

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