Joho the Blog
An Entry from the Archives

How to Impress a VC

Ack! I actually skipped a day blogging. But it couldn't be helped. I was on the road, making the rounds of local venture capitalists, helping to get a start-up funded by saying all the right things ... you know, the things VC's love to hear:

1. "There's no marketing slide in this Powerpoint presentation because the product is viral. It sells itself."
2. "This'll be the new new thing."
3. "The product will be really simple for mom and pop to understand. It just requires a paradigm shift."
4. "As this 2x2 shows, we have no competition."
5. "The death of dot coms has been greatly exaggerated."
6. "It's a billion-dollar market. All we have to do is get 1% of the market."
7. "People are just waiting the chance to switch office application suites. Word, Powerpoint, Outlook, Excel ... they're so yesterday."
8. "Then the network effect kicks in!"
9. "Good point, with a free product there's no revenue. But if you amass the names of millions of visitors and track their behavior on your site, that's gotta be worth millions to marketers!"
10. "Microsoft's never been good at this type of software."
11. "Our success in the market will be our defense against Microsoft.
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12. "Microsoft is too focused elsewhere to notice this market ... and by the time we penetrate it, it'll be too late."
13. "Could you please hold your comment? The slide isn't done animating."