Joho the Blog
An Entry from the Archives

Must be something about Swift Boats in the Hudson that could be used?

Or preparing mud for Mudslinging?

Tax breaks for hookers

(Hey, don't complain to me. The Letterman show style guide says there has to be at least one reference to hookers in every top ten. (Or, one may substitute a reference to something that sounds dirty. E.g. Plenty of paper towels stocked in rest rooms, ready to sop up trickle down.))

I submitted four items:

* Gideons back-ordering bibles from Amazon.com.
* Hillary preparing speech welcoming her friends to her state.
* Mayor Bloomberg working hard to legalize the missionary position.
* Unveiling new gift from France: The Statue of my Middle Finger.

Jeez, Brad, those are durn funny!

* Andrew Guilliani to warm up crowd for Dad (roll video from Rudy's first inauguration).
* Bush twins Jenna and Mary Kate to guest host The Vagina Monologues.

Three more:
* Morton's trucking in barbeque sauce by the tanker full.
* Hello Deli replacing adult magazines with Jesus themed coloring books.
* Finish citywide deployment of "Welcome Cicada Bugs" signs.

I'm biased, but I think many of the ones here are funnier than the chosen winners:

10. All pretzel vendors required to display choking hazard sign
Doug H., Clearwater, BC

9. Getting those "Queer Eye" guys out of town
Blaine C., Austin, TX

8. All rates being fitted for jackets and ties
Kevin S., Baldwin, NY

7. Statue of Liberty? Botox.
Vince W., Royal Oak, MI

6. Waxing and polishing Regis
Jim K., Haddonfield, NJ

5. Chalk body outlines now done in an attractive shade of red
Kevin S., Tallmadge, OH

4. Building a duplicate convention site at an undisclosed location for Cheney's speech
Joe S., Dunlap, TN

3. Putting up huge curtain in front of New Jersey
Lincoln M., Toronto, Ontario

2. All women entering convention hall will be frisked by Arnold Schwarzenegger
Jerry C., Santa Cruz, CA

1. They're getting their asses the hell out of there
Michael E., Dallas, TX

i am an idiot and i am lead by richard simmons