Beloit College has released its annual list of things freshmen have never been without. E.g., "Starbucks, souped-up car stereos, telephone voicemail systems, and Bill Gates have always been a part of their lives." Etc.
That's nothing. To me you're a whippersnapper if:
You've never had a cavity drilled by a machine powered by an arrangement of pulleys
You think "Watergate" was about water and had the "gate" appended to it to signal it was a scandal
You have only seen impressions of John Wayne
You're ok with coed bathrooms
You think wearing your baseball cap backwards isn't just plain stupid
You consider feminism old fashioned
You can't understand how Michael Jackson ever became a star
You can't understande why anyone cares about Woody Allen movies
There's not a single black-and-white movie you like
You can't remember the first time you saw a female news anchor or heard a female DJ
The last Saturday Night Live death you remember was Phil Hartman's
Vietnam was at least two wars ago
Man, I'm feeling cranky! [Technorati tags: beloit humor]
Posted
by D. Weinberger at August 25, 2005 11:28 AM
Comments
My 'class of 2017' list written in 1998 is holding up OK.
Posted by: Kevin Marks | August 25, 2005 04:21 PM
Try this one (came via email from good friend @ Advanced Engineering Staff GM)
A very self-important college freshman at a recent USC football game,
took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him
why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his own.
"You grew up in a different, actually almost primitive, world," the
student said loud enough for the whole crowd to hear. "We young people today grew up
with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon, our
spaceships have visited Mars... We even have nuclear energy, electric
and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing .... and uh.."
Taking advantage of a pause for breath in the student's litany, the "wizened" one said,
"You're right, Son. We didn't have those things when we were
young...so we invented them.. you arrogant little shithead!! Now....
what are you doing for the next generation??"
Posted by: JTHoagland (aka Chip) | September 2, 2005 05:48 PM