In 2000, I wrote about Gong Di Lin, a fake-meat veggie restaurant. I went back tonight. It’s moved a few blocks. The place is now bright rather than dingy. But it’s still delicious, with a huge menu of foods, from chicken to jellyfish to intestines to “man-made horse feet.” I had Szichuan “chicken,” fried rice with “pork” and a very big bottle of beer. (80 yuan, or about US$12.) The man at the table next to me struck up a conversation — very friendly witha beautiful young teenage son. (I noticed many fathers with sons as I walked for 6 hours today. Maybe that’s only because I brought our son to Beijing when he was about that boy’s age.)

I can’t find the address of its new venue, so ask someone. But, if you walk down Wangfujing St., the big pedestrian shopping mall with all the fancy shops, and if you cross Quianmen East St. going south, it’s just a few buildings down. Unfortunately for us Westerners, the sign is Chinese-only. So, like I say, ask someone. You’ll be glad.

[Tags: beijing vegetarian_restaurants ]

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I built up on my nerve and successfully used the old-fashioned elevator at the hotel I’m at in Frankfurt. It’s a continuous, and continuously-moving, loop of open cubicles, large enough for two skinny people, or one American. No waiting, no doors. You step in as an empty compartment approaches and hop out as it moves past your floor.

The clerk assures me that there have been no injuries, although it seems easy to hurt yourself: mis-time your exit and you will be part way between the elevator and the floor as the elevator moves on. I’m surprised the lobby isn’t littered with severed arms and torsos split cleanly in two.

On the other hand, I only got in once the clerk assured me that if I panicked and was unable to force myself to hop out, it doesn’t turn the compartments upside down at the top of the loop.

Damn thrilled-crazed Europeans!

[Tags: elevators europe human_vegematics ]

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I’m about to begin a 4-city, 3-country, 7-day around the world trip, from Germany to China to Vancouver, arriving home on the morning of Election Day. And you know what I’d really like to find? A printable statement that explains in Chinese that I am a vegetarian, that I don’t eat any animals, including fish or shellfish, or anything made with animals (including fish juice in sauce, animal juice in soup, etc.). Any one have a quick pointer before I leave in a couple of hours?

[Tags: vegetarian ]

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Las Vegas Hilton in-room phone answering system interaction:

“Press U for user options.”
[You press U (= numeral 8)]
“User Options: Press X to exit user options.”

The war in Iraq? Sartre’s idea of bourgeois freedom? How I feel when I run into someone whose name I can’t remember who asks me, “Remember me?”?

[Tags: user_interface_design ]

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Often, on the back of a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign is a ‘Make Up My Room Now’ message of some sort. But, now matter how they phrase it, isn’t it the same as an “I’m Out, So This Would Be a Good to Rob Me, Especially If You Are Squeamish about Violence” sign?

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I’m in Milan for an afternoon, and then in Madrid for some part of a day, and then home. Blogging may be lighter than usual.

I’ve been in Milan several times before. Every time I see it, it seems like a different city. I’m not sure if it’s seasonal, because of the accidents of the parts of town I see, or one of the great pleasures of a failing memory. But, my, what a beautiful city it was this afternoon! [Tags: travel milan ]

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The Velveteen Rabbi is in Jerusalem, shopping in the Mechana Yehuda market.

[Tags: velveteen_rabbi jerusalem travel_writing ]

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Attention, passengers. We are now 15 minutes from landing. Please turn off any electronic equipment, make sure your seat belt is buckled, your seat is returned to an upright and locked position, and any carry-on luggage is safely stowed under the seat in front of you.

For our Deluxe Elite passengers, please return your footrests to their stowed position, and turn your stemware in to the attendant who will shortly be coming down the aisle with your choice of mints and Belgian chocolates. Also, turn off and stow your media entertainment console, reduce your back massage to off or low, and make sure your balloon hats are safely secured around your head, as loose headgear can disturb the poodles. If you are seated next to one of the surprise celebrities strewn about the cabin, now would be a good time to exchange telephone numbers, unless you’re seated next to Bono, in which case be advised that he is happy to accept your contribution in the African denomination of your choice. Those of you traveling with small children should have them begin to say goodbye to their clowns, and please don’t forget your pony vouchers. Feel free to keep your travel tiara for your next trip, with our compliments. And now, as we approach our destination, we ask you to please return your attendant to the upright and secured position.

It is, as always, our pleasure to serve you here in the luxurious skies.

[Tags: humor, travel]

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I have tomorrow (Saturday) in Oslo with nothing planned until 7pm when I leave for the airport. Other than sleeping in (I am soooo jetlagged that that’s unlikely), any suggestions?

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Last night, I stayed at what an officially Trendy Hotel in NYC. Why? Because among hotels that had rooms available, it was among the least over-priced. The result: An OK night’s sleep and confirmation that I am less hip than you or that other person standing next to you, even if that next person is Dick Cheney’s proctologist.

Technically, the Hotel QT is a nice place with clean lines and sharp-edged design. It’s a “boutique” hotel (“boutique” is hotel-ese for rooms that are what Starbucks calls a “tall” coffee and English calls “tiny”), but I got a free upgrade to a “suite.” I didn’t ask why. It turns out that a suite at the QT is a single room that would count as small at a normal hotel, with space for a bed and a tray-like thingy that works as a desk, as well as a bathroom with separate segments for sink, shower, and toilet. There’s a small pool in the lobby, and a free breakfast that I missed because it starts at 7am, and I was out by then. Also, there’s free wifi. Yay.

So, when the pleasant, young clerk asked me how my stay was, I resisted saying until he insisted. My short list of nitpicks each pegged me as fabulously untrendy:

1. The little bottles of shampoo and conditioner are indistinguishable except for their small labels. Unhipness revealed: I need glasses to read labels. Or maybe trendy folks wear their glasses into the shower. I wouldn’t know.

2. The shower head is more than a foot in diameter and is fixed directly above you, like a lamp over a pool table. This is not very practical for cleaning downward-facing parts of the body. Unhipness revealed: I favor function over form.

3. The outside wall of the shower consists of a window, the bottom half of which is frosted, but the top half of which is clear, enabling me to wave to the office workers across the street. Unhipness revealed: I am hung up about my body.

4. The bed is on a platform that juts out about six inches into the small space between it and the outside wall. The platform is brown. The carpet is brown. I have a bruise on my shin from walking into the platform. Twice. Unhipness revealed: I am a klutz.

5. I believe I was the oldest and ugliest person in the hotel. I’d appreciate it if the hotel would remedy this in the future by installing some even older, uglier guests. Thank you.

[Tags: hotels hotel_qt travel ]

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