(An homage to The History of Michael Jackson's Face)


Hard to believe -- this was me in 1972.

I was born a cute Jewish-American guy. Who knew I'd get addicted to plastic surgery, face accusations of fathering three children, and become America's Most Ignored Sideshow?

Even at this young age, I latched onto the current Hot Celebrity and became a Cher look-alike without even needing the make-up

I get my hair cut, my nose has taken a curve (allegedly because of a "water skiing accident") and I shamelessly pose with one of my so-called "children." The resemblance to Jamie Farr - starring as Klinger in the top-rated show, M*A*S*H - is proof of how low I'll go to ride on the coat tails of the famous and talented.
The hair is a little neater, plastic surgery has made the cheeks a little less prominent, but - as shown in the enlargement - I have had moles artfully emphasized. And because the kids apparently like a chunkier version of "Dad," I've just begun a series of lipo-insertions that will continue for the rest of my career.

I join Sly and Arnold in adding the phony spectacles to make me look smart, have a prosthetic adam's apple and a "chin sac" added, and start the depilitory sessions to remove the head hair that people find so unsightly.

Once again I ride on the fame of others - this time it's Mahir, the "I Kiss You!!!!" guy

It is rumored that I have had hair transplanted from my head into my ears, on my back, and even into my pubic region. Note the careful yellowing of the teeth which seems to be the result of some type of permanent dye process. I have had my chin re-pouched repeatedly and the extra 40 pounds of fat (supposedly from Afghani virgins) I had distributed around my body has started to bunch up. All in a pathetic attempt to become "The King." How sad. Click to see Elvis sculpted in lard

David Weinberger

Home page: www.evident.com
blog: www.hyperorg.com/blogger/index.html