Received: from mail1.toronto.istar.net (mail1.toronto.istar.net [209.89.75.17]) by antiochus-fe0.ultra.net (8.8.5/ult.n14767) with SMTP id TAA25299 for ; Sat, 31 Jan 1998 19:08:12 -0500 (EST) Received: from ts85-01.tor.istar.ca (CLIPPER) [204.191.145.224] by mail1.toronto.istar.net with smtp (Exim 1.80 #5) id 0xymx4-0007JI-00; Sat, 31 Jan 1998 19:07:58 -0500 Received: by CLIPPER with Microsoft Mail id <01BD2E7B.1DED54B0@CLIPPER>; Sat, 31 Jan 1998 19:04:55 -0500 Message-ID: <01BD2E7B.1DED54B0@CLIPPER> From: "Jeffrey L. Millar" To: "'Weinberger, David'" Subject: Vatican Stuns Software World - Adopts MS Office 97 Date: Sat, 31 Jan 1998 19:04:39 -0500 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/mixed; boundary="---- =_NextPart_000_01BD2E7B.1DF36F30" X-UIDL: 3814ebb9b9fbb4c7f7d59dac90999a6a (Vatican City, AP) In a move that astonished the Software Markets today, Pope John Paul II announced that the Vatican will adopt Microsoft Office 97 for all its desktop computing needs. "It is very easy to use," said the Holy Father to reporters and a crowd estimated at 240,000, "and now, thanks to Power Point 97, I can see the entire operational organization of Heaven at a glance." The Pontiff also raved about the editing abilities of Word97, stating, "With Word, I can reuse old Easter addresses and ecumenical pronouncements. I can move whole paragraphs and spell-check in several languages." There is no word yet whether other religious leaders will endorse the deal the Pope signed with Microsoft CEO William Gates earlier today, but early indications from the World Jewish Congress and the Guild of Islam are not favourable. "He'd better have a direct line to God," said Rabbi Judah Ibrahim, who apparently was referring to Microsoft's heavily-criticized technical support performance. In an even stronger statement, Fayed Ibn Iz-Alil, a spokesman for the Guild of Islam, pondered whether the Catholic Church had unwittingly signed a pact with Satan, a Dark Angel whom many consider to be Bill Gates' master and lord, when it bought the Office97 site license. Ibn Iz-Alil went on to say, "I hope the Suite works out for [them]. I would hate this decision to land the Pope and his IT department in the bowels of eternal hellfire and damnation without relief." "Time will tell," said Ibn Iz-Alil, "whether the Pope has made a wise decision. We [the Guild of Islam] looked at Office 97 a year ago, but considered it too buggy even for infidels." Implementation plans inside Vatican City have remained a closely guarded secret, but the buzz is that the Vatican plans to roll out to 1,450 desktops within a week. When asked of the feasibility of such an ambitious plan, Rabbi Ibrahim said " ... it would take a miracle." David: Yes, I wrote the story. Yes, I did the .ppt presentation No, I am not proud of myself. Yes, I need a hobby. - TBF -- ===================== Jeffrey L. Millar Field Engineer Open Text Corporation jlmillar@opentext.com (416) 483-8860 Text Paging: 4169378859@msg.clearnet.com [] heaven.zip