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Dean on the phone

Suppose Gov. Dean were to record a message like the following and make it available for download on the campaign Web site:

Hello. You’ve reached the home of ____[suitably long pause]_____. I’m Governor Howard Dean and these good folks are supporting our campaign to take back our country. That’s why I approved this phone answering message. Now, here’s the beep.

or

Hello. ____[suitably long pause]_____ have agreed to let me answer their phone. I’m Howard Dean and if you elect me president, I’ll answer your phone, too. Now, here’s the beep.

or

Hello. This is Howard Dean. ____[suitably long pause]_____ have agreed to let me answer their phone because they’re busy on the Internet making new friends and building a grassroots organization that will take back our country in 2004. If you’re not too embarrassed to still be using telephones, feel free to leave a message after the beep.

or

Hello. This is Howard Dean. ____[suitably long pause]_____ have agreed to let me answer their phone in order to try out an experiment in post-hypnotic suggestion. When you hear the beep, you will send $77 to my campaign and think I’m 6’2″. Your eyes are getting tired … so tired … [beep]

How many FEC regulations would this break? How about canons of taste?

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4 Responses to “Dean on the phone”

  1. David Weinberger on Howard Dean answering machine messages

    David WeinbergerSuppose Gov. Dean were to record a message like the following and make it available for download on the…

  2. Lenny Bruce was arrested in 1964 after a performance at Cafe au Go Go in Greenwich Village. Undercover police officers cited him for using words they deemed “obscene.”
    Fighting a four-month sentence to Rikers Island for a 1964 performance at the Cafe au Go Go, he fired his lawyers and botched the appeal. The New York conviction on the misdemeanor obscenity charge made it almost impossible for him to get work; he was declared bankrupt and died of a morphine overdose on Aug. 3, 1966. He was 40.

    Bush will win by a remarkable landslide. This is an impotent waste of time and resources. The Bush mob has absolute control over America, and Americans feel protected by this type of behavior.

  3. It would be slightly less horrifying than hearing him starting about his religious beliefs… whoops.

    http://www.boston.com/news/politics/president/dean/articles/2003/12/25/seeking_a_new_emphasis_dean_touts_his_christianity/

  4. Ignore “Beat.” His kind of pessimism belongs in the gulag. The idea is novel and funny. Every little bit helps.

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