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No longer Businessman of the Year

I ignored the first fax from Tom Reynolds, chairman of the National Republican Congressional Committee telling me that I’ve been chosen as Businessman of the Year. But the second fax had a plaintive note that got me to call the 800 number.

Rose answered. “First, Tom Reynolds wants to thank you for your support in our tremendous victory.” In fact, because of my efforts, I have been awarded Businessman of the Year. Not just nominated, but awarded it.

“Why?,” I asked. “There must be some mistake.”

“It’s based on your past support of the Republican Party.”

“I really didn’t do anything.”

“I don’t know the exact selection process.”

I told Rose I hadn’t contributed any money. She said that she knew that, but they valued my role as honorary chairman of the Massachusetts Business Advisory Council.

“I assume there were dozens of those.”

“Yes. There were several.” She then told me what I’d won: An invitation to the inauguration, and participation in a ceremony to be held during the tax summit in DC in March where the award would be given. There are several Businessmen of the Year awards given in each state. Ah, and my name would be listed in an ad in the Wall Street Journal.

“I think there must be a mistake. I didn’t do anything at all to support your electoral efforts.”

“We value your support.”

“I actually didn’t even vote for Bush.”

Rose chuckled. “You didn’t vote for him?”

“I don’t like his economic policy and I sure don’t like his foreign policy.”

“Would you like me to remove your name from consideration?,” she asked pleasantly.

“I think that would be best.”

Too bad! When they start rounding up the enemies of the state, flashing my Republican Businessman of the Year award might have given me a ten-minute head start.

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7 Responses to “No longer Businessman of the Year”

  1. I got one of these too, in 2003, to become part of the New York Businessman of the Year contingent. If I recall correctly, the pitch also included a contribution plea.

    I told them that I thought they were in violation of both no-Fax and no-Call federal laws, and that if I received more solicitations, I would be happy to prosecute. I’ve not been contacted again.

  2. It’s like last night when I got an official sounding call from a local alarm company. Come to find out, he wanted to schedule an in-home security consultation to assess my home security needs and suggest the right ADT alarm system. At that point I told him I was protected by Smith and Wesson. He just hung up, didn’t even bother to ask if I’d like to be off his list. :(

  3. You just turned down an excellent opportunity to moon the Presidential motorcade on the way to the inauguration.

  4. What SethG said. Think of what you could have done with that invitation :-).

  5. And it won’t be long now before they start rounding up enemies of the state, given that the new director of homeland security comes from the cop ranks. Anyone think there’s something a bit ominous about this? You know, like having a top cop running a police state…

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