Beloit College has released its annual list of things freshmen have never been without. E.g., “Starbucks, souped-up car stereos, telephone voicemail systems, and Bill Gates have always been a part of their lives.” Etc.

That’s nothing. To me you’re a whippersnapper if:

You’ve never had a cavity drilled by a machine powered by an arrangement of pulleys

You think “Watergate” was about water and had the “gate” appended to it to signal it was a scandal

You have only seen impressions of John Wayne

You’re ok with coed bathrooms

You think wearing your baseball cap backwards isn’t just plain stupid

You consider feminism old fashioned

You can’t understand how Michael Jackson ever became a star

You can’t understande why anyone cares about Woody Allen movies

There’s not a single black-and-white movie you like

You can’t remember the first time you saw a female news anchor or heard a female DJ

The last Saturday Night Live death you remember was Phil Hartman’s

Vietnam was at least two wars ago

Man, I’m feeling cranky! [Technorati tags: beloit humor]

Categories: Uncategorized dw