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Book help request: Stupid labels

For Everything is Miscellaneous, I’m looking for examples of dumb labels. For example, fire starter logs warn us that the contents are flammable.

Any others?

Thanks in advance… [Tags:]

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14 Responses to “Book help request: Stupid labels”

  1. Sticker on IBM computer screens in the (PS/2) old days: “After installation, please remove this label.”

  2. On a 10″ vibrator: “For external use only”

  3. Might have seen this one already:

  4. Almond Biscotti:

    Caution: May Contain Nuts.

  5. Label on 6-pack of beer: “Lift to Carry” (should have read: “Lift Here to Carry”)

  6. how about the coffee cups that say “Caution, contents may be hot” ??


    this label was found in a laptop bag, produced in usa and exported to france.
    it says. “we are sorry our president is such an idiot. we didn’t vote for him.”

  8. I was in a car yesterday when the driver pointed to an electronic sign at the entrance of a tunnel that read “this sign is functioning properly”. The chauffeur started muttering something about idiotic signing, but I pointed out that if they didn’t display that, and there were something wrong in the tunnel, we wouldn’t know, because we would assume that lack of information meant lack of problems.

    It’s the dead-man’s control version of signs.

  9. My son was convinced he’d seen a label on a bag of peanuts saying “May contain nuts”. (Gosh, you think?) When I tracked it down it turned out to say “Contains nuts”, which is dumb but not that dumb. (There’s also a taxonomic argument to be had there – should it have said ‘contains legumes’? (Answer: No.))

  10. Starbucks coffee: “The beverage you are about to enjoy may be extremely hot.”

  11. If I remember right, Douglas Adams in one of his Hitchhiker books had the story of the man who turned crazy after he saw an instructional label on a pack of toothpicks…

  12. This sounds like a job for _No in America_

  13. like to get a copy of this book

  14. A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects) which measures 15 cm by 15 cm by 12 cm.

    Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury or death. (yeah to what, a mouse?!) :o)

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