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DOEP (Daily Open-Ended Puzzle) (intermittent): Democratic report card

The Democratic Congressional Committee has posted a report card you can fill in. (Thanks for the link, Chip.) It’s a pretty bland set of questions. So, what questions would you add?

For example:

How can the Democrats show they’re as strong on terrorism as the Republicans?
a. Have Howard Dean eat Saddam Hussein’s liver on TV.
b. Reveal that Hillary served as a Navy SEAL for four years.
c. Require the candidates to work the word “pussy” into their stump speeches.
d. Prosecute more teenagers for downloading music.

What phrase would you prefer the Democrats use instead of “surge”?
a. Squander.
b. Operation Incapable of Learning.

What strategy is most likely to lead to a Democratic victory in the 2008 Presidential elections?
a. Run a campaign exactly like John Kerry’s but just 4% better this time.
b. Find a charismatic younger person, perhaps from a mixed racial background, who energizes masses of eligible non-voters with a message of hope.
c. Learn how to program electronic voting machines.

Should we impeach the bastard?
a. Yes.
b. And how!
c. And his little dog, too!

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2 Responses to “DOEP (Daily Open-Ended Puzzle) (intermittent): Democratic report card”

  1. I’m not aware that any Bush pets have committed impeachable offenses – and I’m firmly opposed dressing up vengeance in the guise of justice. Let the dog go.

  2. I say don’t impeach the dog, make the pooch the prez.

    How can the Democrats snatch defeat from the jaws of victory?
    a) Nominate the most internally popular and connected Presidential candidate instead of an electable one and continue to refuse to think about long-term succession planning
    b) Fail to start off and maintain things squeaky clean and instead let power corrupt, by caving in to special interests
    c) Fail to come up with solid and united responses to the issues that face the US and the world
    d) Let themselves become the fall guys for Iraq, the jobless recovery, health care, and the environment, by letting the Republicans control the message and public discourse.
    e) All of the above.

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