Please don’t ask me if I remember you
Posted on January 10th, 2008
Someone I would have been so happy to see after all these years - 30- of them! - came up to me this morning and asked me, “Do you remember me?” Oh do I hate that question! I don’t remember what I had for breakfast, my previous address, or my own feet. Is there ever a time when “Do you remember me?” is a socially ok question to ask?
And, by the way, throwing in hints only makes it worse. How many times do you want me to acknowledge that my memory is crap and I am utterly self-involved before we get around to re-establishing our old bonds?
Yes, I am a cranky old man.
Categories: misc
What ever happened to sticking your hand out and saying “Hi, I’m Ms. Shoes. We meet three years ago at the Heels and Wheels conference in Atlanta.” ? Giving the person you’re talking to enough information to fake it while their brain digs up the relevant facts.
“Do you remember me?’ are dare words as in I dare you to forget me. Rude.
I always just say no. (Unless of course I do.) I figure if they’re going to be bold enough to ask, i can be bold enough to admit the truth.
Hey, who wouldn’t be cranky with all the Leopard grief you’ve had recently (sympathy). But I do agree with Scott that honesty has to be the best policy in the long run, just as the simplest solution is usually the best.
I like LaraH’s approach and I am sure you admit the truth. You must meet a lot of people and I know how hard it is for me to remember faces with names. BTW, if you don’t remember me, you’re in trouble!
Make up some name and a story to go with it. Insist that you do remember them, and they are that person. Recall fondly some drunken escapade, and act shocked that they don’t remember your impromptu trip to Puerto Rico. See how many things you can get them to “remember”.
If it’s any consolation, I’m 29, and I feel the same way.
Watch Groundhog Day for therapy.
http://tinyurl.com/33cjzc
this is all completely rubbish, the post, the comments
the mind can do anything you wish, given health, blood flow, etc….
one of the biggest obstacles is saying “you can’t”, because then, for sure, you are right
i know many many people who remember everyone they meet, a phenomenal example is this one…. http://www.amritapuri.org who sees a million or more in a year, can remember someone from a single moment ten years before…
but this ability is not limited to saints, anyone can…
attitude, belief, so many things get in the way of what consciousness can do, why add to it by saying “i can’t” or i am old?
crikey!
for me, “do you remember me?” is right up there with “what do you do?” , “do they all have the same father?” and “can i bring you anything?”.
i have what some people now/might call prosopagnosia. if someone changes their shirt i won’t recognise them the next day. on the other hand, i have a friend who thinks he’s met everyone he sees. he “recognises” everyone, even though he “knows” he’s never met them.
all this has nothing to do with age. if you were a ruder man, you could also take the thinly veiled insulting henry james route of: “remember you? how could i forget?”. the possibilities are endless.
Dear Crabby Old Man:
It’s okay. I don’t remember you either. In fact, the only reason I am reading your blog is that my mother makes me when I’ve been rebellious. She says you’re the only person who can straighten me out, but that’s kind of strange because I showed her your picture from Wikipedia as part of a lineup, and she said she didn’t remember you. Do you remember her?
As far as honesty being the best way to respond to the “Do you remember me?” question, I personally favor improvised answers like, “How could I ever forget your matted hair?” or “Remembering you is how I spend my nights,” (depending, of course, upon the appearance of the asker). Surely you remember me recommending these retorts to you at Wikimania 1993, right?
Curious Ray
i think the question do you remember me is just ridiculous.i had someone of my sister’s friends to come up to me in front of her apartment over a month ago and asked me if i had remembered her. i responded to her by saying i am afraid i don’t.well her friend had to go running to my sister by saying that she did not think that i was very friendly.i am finding out by after having read on this web site that no it really isn’t a good question to ask someone.this lady didn’t even tell me her name.she did not reach out and shake my hand and say her name and then tell me where she had met me and when she met me but of course i am the bad guy and i cannot quite get my sister to see my point of view.is that bad or what. my sister’s daughter thinks that the lady didn’t do any thing wrong.wow! what little does she know.it is hard for me to come out and say that i do in deed remember some one when i really do not know some one.if it upsets my sister well then it just upsets her.
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