Joho the Blog » DOEP (Daily (intermittent) Open-Ended Puzzle: Web clichés

DOEP (Daily (intermittent) Open-Ended Puzzle: Web clichés

I’m about to post a new issue of my (free) newsletter, which has the following Bogus Contest:

These days, instead of saying “If you look up ‘miserable failure’ in the dictionary, there’s a picture of George Bush there,” you’d more likely say, “If you google ‘miserable failure,’ George Bush is the first return.”

Can we come up with more clichés transposed to the world of tech? For example:

The more things are upgraded, the more they stay the
same

A watched IPO never boils

It takes two to flame

A woman needs a man the way a fish needs a C compiler

There’s more than one way to skin a Firefox

When the net nanny’s away, the mice will play

Your turn! (To enter — which is, remember, functionally the same as not entering — post your updated clichés as a comment. 

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50 Responses to “DOEP (Daily (intermittent) Open-Ended Puzzle: Web clichés”

  1. “I haven’t got room to swing a mouse in my cubicle”
    “A network is only as strong as its weakest node”
    “Many eyeballs make a Wiki work”
    “There’s no place like one’s portal”
    “Always a user, never a programmer”

  2. An apple a day keeps viruses away

  3. four is a mob

  4. These need sprucing up…

    The more things are upgraded, the more they… crash.

    A watched IPO… shreds its documents.

    It takes two to… Skype.

    There’s more than one way to skin a… Internet Explo… oh, wait, there isn’t.

    When the net nanny’s away, the mice.. are gay.

  5. A picture’s worth a 1024 pixels.

    The lights are on but no-one’s in the IT department.

    Better than a slap in the face with a wet mouse.

    I cried all the way to the login.

    PURLs of wisdom.

    J

  6. There’s gold in them thar highly priced audio cables.

    Authentication certificates? We don’t need any stinkin’ authentication certificates!

    When the cat’s away, the mice are downloading files from BitTorrent.

    It’s a JOHO world after all.

  7. God helps those who press F1. (Windows PC only. All others consult your computer’s manual.)

  8. computo ergo sum

  9. Stephen was on the right track:
    There’s more than one way to skin a user interface.

  10. No need to make up words — Google ergo sum

  11. Java…it’s not just for breakfast any more.

    It’s better to have GET and 404′d than never to have GET at all.

    If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the server room.

    Nervous as a coder in a room full of managers.

    Free, as in sex.

    Whatever can throw an exception, will throw an exception.

    She was the Macintosh of his eye.

    Life is like rand(). You never know what you’re getting.

    Why buy the program, when you can get the source for free?

    do() || die()

    Better to plug in a single UPS than to curse the darkness.

  12. All that ASCII is not bold.
    All’s fair in love and Bellevue.
    Any port in a hub.
    As easy as falling off a login.

    Detection is the better part of virus software.

    Don’t change doctypes in the middle of a string.

    Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and obviously not a coder.

    Files corrupt. Unbacked-up files corrupt at absolutely the worst possible moment.

    Here today, telecommuting tomorrow.

    People who live in glass cubes shouldn’t throw up…please.

    The Apple doesn’t fall far from the roof of your car, but that’s still too far.

  13. As the code is bent, so grows the program.

    ASCII and it shall be granted.

  14. Beauty is only scan deep…but you can fix that with Photoshop®.

    If a Treo falls in the forest, and no one is there to hear it…where the hell did it come from??

  15. A fool and his money are soon departed for Nigeria.

  16. And your little blog, too!!

  17. Those who can, do. Those who can’t, spam.

  18. If at first you don’t succeed…it’s probably a Microsoft product. You’re screwed.

  19. Money can’t buy happiness…but it can buy pretty damn near everything else! Have you looked on Craigslist lately??

  20. Nothing is certain but grep and caches.

  21. God helps those who understand how to construct a query.

  22. Rolm wasn’t built in a day. (Okay, I’m dating myself here.)

  23. All the news that’s fit to Gimp.

  24. There’s no business like code business.

  25. If at first you don’t succeed, try {} catch () {} again.

  26. Before compiling, chop wood and carry water. After compiling, chop wood and carry water.

    You can lead a programmer to the computer, but you can’t make him test.

  27. Give a man an assembler and he’ll segfault for a day; teach a man to write C and he’ll dangle pointers for a lifetime.

  28. I think…therefore iPod.

  29. Romeo, O, Romeo… WiFi art down, Romeo?

  30. The bug stops here.

  31. Whatever you can do, or dream you can…debug it.

  32. Imitation is the sincerest form of copyright infringement.

  33. There is no free launch.

  34. Those who can, do. Those who can’t, blog.

  35. I think, therefore I RAM.

  36. You can cache more files with honey than with vinegar.

  37. Six of one, 0110 of the other.

  38. All those glitches are not good.

  39. To err is human. MacBook Air is divine.

  40. Blessed are the geeks, for they shall inherit the properties.

  41. The playlist’s the thing.

  42. The road to Hell is paved with good inventions.

    A stitch in time saves a service release and PR nightmare later.

    To err is human. To validate, divine.

    All {property:value;} and no substance.

  43. The browser is willing, but the signal is weak.

  44. A #FFADB8 is a rgb(255,173,184) is a rgb(100%, 68%,72%). But your results may vary, depending on your monitor.

  45. A #FFADB8 by any other number would not render as sweet.

  46. It’s always darkest before the BSOD.

  47. THANK YOU, Stu! I was starting to feel awfully lonely in here.

  48. A leopard doesn’t change its spots. But it does update them often.

  49. You can’t teach an old blog new tricks, but you’re free to flame its old ones.

  50. If you don’t have something NICE to Reply-to-All, then don’t Reply-to-All anything at all.

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