Joho the Bloghumor Archives - Joho the Blog

June 10, 2018

North Korean Bingo!

Why is this card guaranteed to lose? You might notice a pattern in it…

north korean talks bingo card

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February 15, 2018

Here comes a new round of "I think, therefore I am" philosophical Dad jokes

An earlier draft of Descartes’ Meditations has been discovered, which will inevitably lead to a new round of unfunny jokes under the rubric of “Descartes’ First Draft.” I can’t wait :(

The draft is a big discovery. Camilla Shumaker at Research Frontiers reports that Jeremy Hyman, a philosophy instructor at the University of Arkansas, came across a reference to the manuscript and hied off to a municipal library in Toulouse … a gamble, but he apparently felt he had nothing left Toulouse.

And so it begins…

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July 27, 2017

Misc.

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March 22, 2017

Four-pound fountain pen?

I’m thinking that this Lamy 2000 pen on Amazon

lamy 2000 pen


isn’t really a one-inch cube…

pen details

…that weighs 4.2lbs.

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September 13, 2016

Top Ten Names for Ben & Jerry’s Coffee Ice Cream

Top 10 new names for Ben & Jerry’s coffee ice cream to convince them to bring it back. #BringBackCoffee @benandjerryspdx

10. Coffee Hold the Gimmicks

9 . Coffee with OMG SO MUCH Cream and Sugar. Also, It’s Frozen.

8. Coffee Uncrunchy

7. St. Agnes‘ Coffee Purity

6. Coffee Coffee Reanimation

5. Larry David’s I Said I Don’t Want Anything In My Cone Except Coffee

4. Coffee Shutup

3. Jack Nicholson’s Coffee and Chicken Salad Sandwich on Wheat Toast

2. What Part of Coffee Do You Not Understand?

1. Just Fucking Coffee

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August 14, 2016

Coinstar's list of unacceptable items seems to have been written by Tim Burton

Coinstar makes vending machines into which you drop coins and from which you get bills or gift cards. Its list of unacceptable items is quite odd, presumably intentionally.

unacceptable items

I’d think that this is based on things people have actually tried to shove into Coinstar slots, except I don’t see “fishing line with gum at its end” or “your dick”on the list.

(Tip o’ the hat to my brother Andy who definitely was not trying to “redeem” 70,000 #6 steel washers.)

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December 22, 2015

My Eagle


Aug. 1

What a majestic creature! The wings beating like giant sails!

And not bald. Not even a comb-over, haha. Downy white feathers covering that majestic skull.

The beak does sort of look like a big nose, though.

Aug. 2

Again this morning! I’d say within 15 mins of yesterday’s fly-by. A little higher up and more toward the center of the lake, but still majestic even from further away. I’d probably have to be like a mile away before I mistook it for a pigeon.

Winky barked as it soared past, although Winky barks at anything he finds interesting, and he’s blessed with an all-day curiosity.


Did you know that all clouds look like bones?

Aug. 3

It looked at me! Oh my, let me record the time exactly! It’s now 7:27, so it was probably at 7:24!

Ok, I’ve caught my breath. He flew by just a little past the Jurgenson’s raft, so that’s maybe 50 or 200 feet from me. Flapping those big wings. Looking straight ahead. And then as I leapt up from my chair, he definitely turned his head and looked right at me!

And not a little passing glance. He was studying me, taking my measure, judging my character. And I looked back at him. Resolute but with kindness. I wasn’t going to look away until he did, which took about maybe four seconds, or two to be scientific about it (I just timed four seconds on the ol’ Timex, and they take longer than you’d think). But your life can change in two seconds. How long is the first sight that love can happen in? It can’t be more than a second or two or it would be second sight, or maybe third.

My eagle and I definitely made a connection. Till death do us part! Well, Labor Day.

[More]

September 13, 2015

My worst caption so far

Here’s this week’s New Yorker caption contest cartoon:

Cars piled up

My hilarious caption? And I’m only telling you this because obviously there’s no change it’s going to be one of the chosen three:

Hey, could someone tell Google Highways that the buffer is full?

Hey-o!

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August 30, 2015

July 10, 2015

A solution to the Greek crisis

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