1. They can’t tell the difference between a party and a market.

2. They think it’s their party.

About #1. Marketers think that we on the Web are markets. They define a market as a group of people who will respond favorably (i.e., 2% will twitch their eyebrows in reaction) to a message. For example, “urban males 18-24” is a market if they will respond favorably to an ad with a babe touching a pen to her lips, and “people who read Parade and own a weimeraner” is a market if they respond favorably to a jingle that rhymes “wet good” with “pet food.” These markets have no existence as a group except as a statistical abstraction. They are not real groups, much less communities on conversations. The Web, on the other hand, is a set of global parties where people are talking with others only insofar as we find one another interesting on some topic. Marketers look at these parties, these real groups of real people, and see only opportunities to deliver messages.

About #2. The fundamental mistake business insists on making over and over on the Internet is to think that their Web site is theirs. Even if they have learned that the Internet is not driven primarily by business, just about every business thinks about its site as a piece of property they own. When we enter it, we are now subject to their rules and their messages. While this is legally indisputable, it’s also what makes business sites feel so alien on the Web.

[For further reading: Cluetrain, Gonzo, Doc.]

Scott Knowles, a marketer whose head is not up his ass when it comes to the Web, responds: “I think putting a “traditional” in front of “marketing” when your slamming it would make things more accurate. There really is a difference.” Yes, there is. I assume a “traditional” in front of “marketers” in the screed above, but I shouldn’t assume that all me readers assume the same assumption. (You know what they say about “Assumptions”: they make an “ass” of “u” and “mptions.”

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