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Top Ten Reasons Sarah Palin Quit

Putting on her old red campaigning suit caused an unstoppable urge to call a press conference, and, well, she had to announce something.

Part of careful plan to capture the White House in 2012 by convincing Americans that she’s the leading incoherent, out of control Republican.

She can see crazy from her backyard.

That’ll show the world McCain made a great choice in picking her!

Only way to exorcise those chain-rattling Ghosts of Machine-Gunned Moose Past.

Bridge to Nowhere, meet Leaper.

Michael Jackson so needed to be knocked out of first place on Twitter.

You don’t understand? Just wait for Mark Sanford’s next press conference.

Face it: Alaska’s a dump. [Hey, these are her reasons, not mine!]

Desperate bid to be mocked by Tina Fey one last time.

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